I am the……..somnambulist………………my life is a dream.

If you have a computer……more than one TV……a home and a car or two……you are in the top one percent of the world population……what do you feel for the other 99%?

One pill makes you larger, and one pill makes you small. And the ones that mother gives you, don’t do anything at all……Jefferson Airplane.

Why did the Mafia go extinct?…….they didn’t, they “went legit”……you’re paying 29.99% on your credit card aren’t you?

This just in from TV news……..”burglars rob food shelf, take food”……newsflash!……they give it away for FREE!

I want a new drug…….One that won’t make me sick…….One that won’t make me crash my car……Or make me feel three feet thick……Huey Lewis.

Some “religious” people think God made Adam’s head, body, arms and legs……and then the Devil slapped on the genitals.

Greed exploits the difference between the rich and the poor…..Wal Mart demands cheaper products so production moves to China:
Labor laws…………….zip.
American jobs…………..gone.
Wages………….25-.50 cents an hour.
Tibet…………estimated 1.2 million dead.
Human rights…………….it’s a dictatorship.
Communists……………..now we’re partners.
Poison……………..pollution, coal plants, lead toys, melamine.

They warned me satan would be attractive……Ned Flanders.

Remember?……..you were really excited when you found the prize in your box of Cracker Jacks.

Don’t worry……..everything is going to be alright……..no matter how badly you screw up…….just try your best and be happy.

You can’t handle the truth…….no truth handler are you…….I deride your truth handling ability……Sideshow Bob.

If I didn’t have bad luck…….I wouldn’t have any luck at all.

Eat, drink and be merry……for tomorrow we die……….really.

Oh God……..have mercy on my wicked soul……Oberon.