Relax Maude…….the human wang is a beautiful thing…….Homer Simpson.

If I offend……..remember where you came from……..hot and sticky out of your mothers’ hole.

Acceptance does not require you……..you require acceptance.

If I offend…….watch the news tonight…….and see what true offense occurs daily.

I make a mess…….of almost everything I touch……..I’m a lazy, lazy man.

If I offend…….recall the stories of horror…….of rape and murder and mayhem.

I’m not a smart man but……..I’m sure I could do a lot better……..if the world would just do what I say…….I’m sure I couldn’t do much worse…….you’re all just making a big mess of it.

If I offend……..think back in your past…….and tell me you never gave offense.

I’m not afraid of God……why would I need to be afraid of God?…….what reason could there be?

If I offend…….think of all those bullets……..flying unaware……..where do they go?

People who are easily mocked…….should be mocked more often.

If I offend…….see how many heads……..fall to the sand……..where war takes place.

I’m not sorry……..if I tell the truth……..I’m not sorry……..if you’re offended by the truth.

If I offend……..remember all the abuse……..those children will suffer.

What is the most dangerous part of your body?………………..your mouth.

If I offend…….think of all the time we waste…….in selfish…….mental masturbation.

Just say…………………………………nothing.

If I offend…….accept responsibility for what we have done…….to produce a failed existence……we call our world……and accept responsibility for failing to change it.

The modern conservative……is engaged in one of man’s oldest exercises in moral philosophy…….that is…….the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness…….John Kenneth Galbraith.